#vanlife day 39

Does anyone believe in the law of attraction?

We do. A funny thing happened today that we don’t believe is a coincidence. I started writing an extended blog post on the subject of noise. All the wonderful different types of noise that show up on the campsite … I’ll save that post for another day and will instead share what happened as a result of fusing so hard on NOISE!

This particular campsite seems to attract a certain type of clientele. Being based just 25 miles north of Glasgow it would appear that Glaswegians are attracted here for all sorts of reasons, fishing, walking, drinking beer away from the wife, talking loudly while drinking beer with your mates, barbecuing square sausages while drinking beer.*

*On a serious note it appears that Scotland does have quite a serious drinking problem hence it’s not possible to buy any alcohol before 10 am in the supermarkets. I don’t quite see how that policy helps the general problem as I’m sure anyone with a propensity towards alcoholism would have a stash anyway…I would! Anyway, who am I to question, I just didn’t want anyone to think that I was being xenophobic towards Glaswegians – how could I? I was born there and consider myself a Scotsman and proudly Glaswegian, definitely by nature if not nurture.

I’ve become middle-aged!!!

Now Catherine and I have reached a time in our lives that we like to be tucked up in bed by about 930pm. We are up early in the morning so we are usually beat by then. So it was with some dismay that we noticed the “quiet policy” for the campsite kicks in at 11pm. Catherine is most definitely away with the faeries at that point but recently both of our sleep patterns have been affected*

*Not to worry, this recent turn of events has spawned a new game that we play; it’s called “how much sleep did you NOT get last night?” The winner of this game is the one who can demonstrate that they definitely got wayyyyy less sleep than the other person. The prize for this game is “bragging rights” where the other person must recognise the great affliction the other person has to endure due to the lack of repose. For instance I will say “yeah sorry I burned the bacon (not an euphemism), I didn’t get enough zeds last night!” Catherine will then be “that’s fine … I understand”. In so doing I am recognised and affirmed for pushing through the barrier even though the pig sarny is a bit overdone.

The dismay deepened when our new neighbours rocked up to the campsite in two big grey transit vans. We overheard the conversation, (hard not to hear it as it was being delivered at about 90decibels*), that they were here for a fishing weekend. “Oh, that’s nice,” thinks I, some fishermen, albeit loud ones, maybe they will fish in the River Forth, far far away from here. But no, this wasn’t to be as they proceeded to set up base right outside our tent, of course being the minimum 6m away from us that post-covid rules allow!

*( a jack hammer is around 160 decibels (db); an ambulance siren is about 120db; and a tube train is about 90db … just so you get the idea)

Basecamp Stella …

Let me describe Glasgow Fishermen’s base camp – I suspect it’s nothing at all like Dr. David Livingston’s base camp when he converted half of Africa to Christianity in the nineteenth century. Three cases of Stella Artois. Two bottles of whiskey (Aldi specials – not single malt – that’s what disgusted my sensibilities the most- you cant be a true Scotsman and drink that!!!!) One bottle of unbranded Vodka. All this booze to accommodate the four “thirsty” fishermen throughout the night. Jesus wept … I just know I’m going to win the no sleep game tonight.

Sure enough, I won! In quite spectacular fashion. I decided that I would get out ahead of it by having a few soporific beers in advance, the idea being that I would fall asleep in the tent while Caths nicely cocooned herself in the van with earplugs and a hot-water bottle. My snoring wouldn’t be a problem – at least not tonight!

The Saga Begins …

So the soporific event kicked in quite nicely around 1045 after watching a bit of YouTube. The effect soon wore off when an almighty scrape of a side van door (130db) shook me back into full consciousness. “WHAT THE F**!” I inadvertently shouted

*I say inadvertently because I decided that tackling 4 Glaswegians, who would have, by then consumed half the local off-license supply of booze wasn’t a particularly good idea!

There were then muffled (50db – stage whispers) giggles and a few ssh-sshes. It was 1145 – almost an hour past curfew. Those buggers were supposed to be IN their van keeping noise to a RESPECTFUL level. They were outside, and talking in clearly audible voices AND playing music (good music mind, The Cranberries, Pink and a bit of Ed Sheehan … but still this wasn’t the time for getting my groove on! B****rds!)

So I put the next plan into action. Noise-cancelling headphones while listening to some soothing meditation music to help me drift off into the land of never-never. Yeah right – it was never-never … My piece of music had finished which made me take my headphones off. Forever the hopeful, I rolled over to go to sleep proper … same scenario different time: 0145! “Yeah, it’s alright Jim”. One of the fishermen shouts “The fires oot!”

“Oh come on!” I shouted. Deathly silence for all of two seconds. At least by this time they had retired to their van … but it was too late for me, I was tuned into every little sound.

At 0330 some courageous lady came out and asked them to keep it down. To be honest I felt a bit ashamed that I hadn’t done it before her. At first, I thought it was Catherine who had had enough, but when I came out of my tent to defend her there was nobody else there except one of the fishermen who was emptying a bucket of water (at least I hope it was water) out in front of his van. I gave him the “stink-eye” … he just carried on, like doing chores at three-thirty in the morning was a perfectly acceptable thing to be doing. I held my ground for a moment or two until he went into his van. Still hearing the loud talking and audible music I decided I’d made my statement and went to bed.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because I woke again at about 630 – my pre-programmed time for rising. I gotta tell you I was a grumpy Buck!

It pays to complain …

In short, I complained to the site manager as did some other people and those guys were politely asked to leave – which they did. Fortunately, they were gracious enough not to leave any parting “gifts”, which I was told by another camp warden was the usual tradition. I’ll spare you the details but I waited until they left the site before I finally relaxed.

So going back to the original point of the post – I am a firm believer that we attract what we think about. So having spent the first half of the day writing about amusing noisy incidents I attracted to myself as the mother of noisy incidents. To that end, this is the last post I will write about noise unless it’s about the noise of butterfly wings or the sound of sponges banging on windows!

I wish you all a peaceful good nights sleep, but I will leave you with a quote from one of my favourite inspirational speakers, Zig Ziglar:

In my words: Thoughts create things; words move people.

7 thoughts on “#vanlife day 39”

  1. Been lovely and quiet here at Heathrow!!!! Apart from the parakeets screeching! When do the Scottish schools breakup🤣🤣🤣? Hope you have a better night tonight xx

    • Catherine has those details – I daren’t ask!!!! I’d take the parakeets over the Bhoys that turn up here on an occasional basis!

  2. OMG …your travels are riddled with challenges… re the Wegies, if it happens again.. apply the principle of Leviticus … ( eye for an eye etc ) after all u r in God’s own country! After reveille ( just after your normal waking time – camp rules permitting of course), continue perhaps with a touch of The Who ( renowned for being the loudest pop group in the 70’s! ( 76,000 watts @120 decs at one of their concerts) or alternatively maybe Deep Purple who knocked 3 people unconscious again in the 70’s at one of their concerts- standing too close to the speakers!) weren’t the 70’s just great… my most favourite decade ( can’t here a bloody thing now!!!) ‘’ we shall never see their likes again! ‘’

    If they are true Wegies, they will see the funny side and will be your best friends … you can then work on their drink selection, which I agree is pretty poor but we are in a cost of living dilemma ( you probably don’t know this if you don’t listen to the news!)

    I’m sure you could turn this into another game?

    Finally, if all else fails, you could deploy your secret weapon…. Tommy… though he might have a different sleep pattern and enjoy Ed Sheeran et al at 3 in the morning!!! He may also be totally deaf!!!

    Btw… did they catch any fish?

    If so, could have been the answer to your seal problem!

    Good luck.. who would be a digital nomad???

    Keep posting.


    • the 70’s … sorry Jim but I was too young to appreciate them!
      The seventies to me meant bay city rollers (remember them Wegies?), star wars and Lego! I didn’t get flairs until the 80s when they were on discount in Cork City Trendy Supplies Ltd!!! I’ll bear those retorts in mind for next time, although I sincerely hope I won’t need them.
      Tommy was safely snuggled up with his mummy at that time so I didn’t even have the support of my supposed best friend.
      I am happy to say no fish were hurt in the visiting of said Wegies!
      Thanks for watching and I hope to catch up again sometime soon

    • Firstly … ouch!
      Secondly, i would have had to have been asleep first and they would have also needed to have tried to sleep. OK i cant know if I was asleep that they had tried to sleep, but I know i definitely wanst asleep, unless i was dreaming … oh Im confused now!!!!


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